by Paul Krassner
Miriam Widman’s first radio report on “Day to Day” was broadcast last week. It was about Voodoo Doughnuts, a shop in Portland, Oregon, which has taken on the challenge of making trans-fat-free doughnuts.
“But,” she observed, “getting rid of trans-fat doesn't make doughnuts a health food.” For example, there’s the “triple chocolate penetration” doughnut, among other sinful calorie-loaded concoctions.
Voodoo Doughnuts is famous for more than its doughnuts, though. The four-year-old shop has been the scene of events ranging from Swahili lessons to weddings with doughnuts and coffee for ten.
The shop has held a contest the first Friday of every month where the winner is whoever finishes eating six scrumptious doughnuts the fastest. However, the following portion of Widman’s story was deleted by NPR for fear of complaints about indecency and bad taste:
“The doughnut store is hosting a ‘Cockfest’ contest next week. Contestants, all male, will see who can put the most doughnuts on their unit. Last year’s record was five. No pre-competition training--that is, Viagra--allowed.” Presumably, fluffers are also forbidden.
The owners of Voodoo Doughnuts insist that this unique happening is not pornography, but simply “a celebration of man.”
No word yet as to whether it will become a competitive event in the 2008 Olympics.
Paul Krassner edited Pot Stories For the Soul and is available through Paul's Home Page: http://www.PaulKrassner.com
A collection of 'LOCAL' Paul Krassner articles is located here: http://www.flyingsnail.com/Scrapbook/Paul_Krassner.html
Remnant of Paradise begins here: http://www.flyingsnail.com/Scrapbook/page001.html ]